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Character Name Dialogue Note
Uncle stands on a hilltop, looking through a spyglass.]
Marston What are you looking at, old man?
Uncle There's some mustangs and some such out there beyond that ridge. Wondering if it was worth it getting you and round some of them up...
Marston Fair enough. We're nearly out of money, the ranch is in turmoil, we may not make it through the winter. What could we possibly want with some good quality horses? Come on.
Uncle That tone of voice ain't so becoming on you. Makes you seem all pent up and angry, like some Blackwater would-be business tycoon with a bad case of hemorrhoids.
Marston I'll give you a bad case of someone just shot me in the head if you don't hurry up.
They mount up.
Marston What were you going to do? Just look at them horses all day?
Uncle Well, God forbid I do anythin' round here without checkin' with his royal highness first.
Marston Yeah, you're real good at watchin'. That's about all you're good for apart from bendin' you elbow.
Uncle I can't do right for doin' wrong. You're an ungrateful bastard, you know. I did my best when you was gone.
Marston Your best is like anybody else's worst.
Uncle Come on, I'm gettin' old. I gotta start takin' things easy.
Marston You've been takin' things easy for forty years.
Marston breaks three horses.
Marston I think that's enough for now. Let's get them back to the ranch.
Uncle That weren't half bad for a couple of old reprobates.
Marston I learned a few things while I was away.
Uncle Anythin' you wanted to know, you only had to ask me.
Marston You? What the hell do you know about any of this?
Uncle I was a rancher myself back in the day.
Marston Firstly, I don't believe you. And secondly, if you was, why have you been hidin' it all these years?
Uncle You act like I never do anythin'. I do plenty.
Marston You're asleep half the day, and the other half you're so drunk you couldn't hit the ground with your hat in three throws.
Uncle I've taught you a few things, John Marston.
Marston Like how to steal beer when the bartender's not lookin' and piss without takin' down your pants.
Uncle All useful skills, partner.
They arrive back at the ranch.
Uncle Look at these here horses. Fine as cream gravy. It sure will be nice to have some money in our pockets.
Marston Any money we make it goin' straight back into this ranch, not down your gullet.
Uncle Aw, come on. I ain't workin' for free here.
Marston You ain't workin' at all, that's the problem, old man.
Uncle What about today? And all them cattle i hearded? I'm always suckin' hind tit round here.
Marston You got food in your belly, ain't ya? A roof over your head?
Uncle Your so tight, you get out of bed to turn over so's not to wear out the sheets.
Marston Don't push your luck.
Uncle A little bottle wouldn't hurt, though? Something to ease an old man's aches and pains.
Marston This is why they say you should never hire the people you drink with.
They enter the pen.
Marston Make sure there's enough fresh hay. We need to keep 'em strong.
Uncle Alright, damn, a little gratitude wouldn't kill you. Not a bad day's work.