La Agencia is a Red Dead Redemption posse.

About the posse

Well, the names Hemingway mister, and why the fuck should I explain myself to you, friend? If you're so inclined, I suppose it has fallen to me to tell you how we ended up the hellish way we are. The first reason for that is I'm mostly sober. And the second is I'm not busy sticking some sloppy mule of a whore at the moment. Lucky you.

California men by birth, we have dealt with Mexico and their shit-stained ethics since day one. A Zorro there was not. As such, the cut-throat nature of the Dons and their kiss-ass subordinates made us grow up fast and hard. Their particular brand of justice was the simple phrase, "It is better to be feared than loved." Hangings were in style and like any fad, everyone was doing it. Stray dogs were getting strung up from lampposts, out-of-towners were being sentenced on a whim. Western entertainment, I guess. A hanging was an event to be seen.

My Ma and Pa wouldn't take me to the executions... Sure, I'd try to sneak out. But, I guess they were too clever for me. The beltings were strong, I still tried anyway. It was the same story for Epix and Ethos. We'd compare escape methods and try again. No dice. Fuckers.

Echilon, the other original, was Wirey and intense, you wouldn't cross him. He was never the biggest but you could tell he was capable of anything--terrible things. I'm pretty sure he was responsible for most of those poor dogs. My guess is he became the crazed man he is because of all the death he witnessed as a child. It didn't seem like a big deal then. It had an effect, i know it. Look at him now, friend. His knife is his favorite... I think his unpredictability is what made him head honcho. Always the antagonist, he got us into more trouble than we thought possible. I think he put us on track for what we are now.

Epix likes to think himself a co-captain, but what country has two presidents?

Joining the posse

To join please send non-refundable cash payment to my parents basement, C/O Mother. It is imperative that on said envelope you write -- MOTHER, STAY OUT OF MY LIFE. THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!11! --



  • Agent Epix
  • Agent Echilon

Other members

  • Agent Hemingway
  • Agent Ethos
  • Agent Apep
  • Agent 0351
  • Agent Agro

External links

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.