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After digging and digging and digging on the "internets" until my nails were stubs (given Rockstar never deigned to reply to my cries for help), I found the solution to the issue my friend and I were having after we both downloaded Outlaws to the End. When I would try to invite her she would get "ERROR Can't connect. Please check your connections and try again" over and over. It was the same for when she would invite me.
What we discovered was that our NAT settings didn't match. For whatever reason, it's been fine all these months as we've played Borderlands, etc. and even "regular" RDR multiplayer. Hers was NAT 3, I was NAT 2. NAT 3 is strict and can cause chat and game connection issues
She set hers to NAT 2 and we're fine.
Here are t…
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